Friday, November 12, 1830

1830 November

Friday 12

(Woke up at) 6 10/..   /  (Went to bed at) 1 25/..

Ready at 7 20/.., at which hour F 55° and fine, frosty morning.  Breakfast at 7 1/2.  

Off at 8 27/.. from Auxerre.  Meant to have gone again to the cathedral, but on coming  downstairs,  found them all ready, so sat down to breakfast.  On coming away, Lady Stuart’s sac having been for the moment lost, accidentally peeped into her landau-coach, and got in to see how it was, and went the 1st stage to Bassou.  Very agreeably, though, of course, without seeing anything but that Auxerre is vineyard on all sides and vineyard with little interruption all the way to Bassou. Should have gone forward with Lady Stuart (Miss Hiriott and Louisa in the carriage), but delayed 1/2 hour at Bassou to put 2 clips (brides) on to near hind spring of coach. 2 feuilles broken! So I had my carriage to myself from Bassou for the rest of the day’s journey.

At breakfast this morning and afterwards, speaking of traveling dress, Lady Stuart thinks I ought to have habit and black beaver hat, and one silk pelisse – a habit would require a beaver, and the dress would not be odd, because a regular English dress.  But could not wear a beaver with a pelisse – that would be odd.

Sens at 2 55/.. Road from there wet and sloppy as before, and heavy but not hilly – quite flat. Very fine, sunny afternoon.   Incurred a cross thinking of Mariana soon after two; had then a little uneasiness in my stomach, which it amused.

The sun just set;  just getting dark as I enter Villeneuve-la-Guyard – Hotel de la Souche.  Lady  Stuart had arrived about 1/2 hour before me.  Dinner at 6. Coffee as usual after the children were gone to bed, at 9.

Sat talking on the subject, somehow or other, of men and women,  She told the story of the man who had been a sailor, came to Paris, felt isolated, tried to poison himself with laudanum. I said a man ought never to feel isolated or long unhappy; he had so many resources.  She thought a woman had more.  Oh, surely not. A man was independent could do anything, console, employ himself in a thousand ways, etc. A woman’s employments, knitting, ketting, etc. hardly occupied her mind. No animal in creation so helpless as a woman, particularly if young and handsome, possessing that precious jewel she was so little able to guard, yet upon the safekeeping of which her whole reputation and happiness depended (chastity). She scarce could stir in safety, etc. etc. I saw Lady Stuart thought my train of thought singular but she said she had never wished to be a man; she should not have done the duties well.  Oh, said I, don’t mean that, but simply that the one has many more resources than the other, and so we talked on cozily as usual.  Just after coming to my room, Lady Stuart sent me a paper of almond paste, a second supply of what she bought and gave me at Montpellier.  This was kind and attentive, uncalled for and therefore surely flattering. On sayingI should go on Tuesday, I said not before two or three, because she would be talking to Lord Stuart.  Oh, said she, but he would like to see you. Surely she likes me. Lady Stuart’s idea the other night that the sin of our first parents in eating the forbidden fruit consisted in their carnal knowledge of each other, for never before was anything said of conception and bringing forth in sorrow, but it was said immediately after.  Then came impurity and sin and death. I said this had never struck me before.  It was excellent. Was it an original idea of hers? Yes.

Fine, frosty-aired, sunny day. Fahrenheit 58° now 12 20/.. tonight in my room with a fire in it.

WYAS Finding Numbers SH:7/ML/E/13/0105 and SH:7/ML/E/13/0106