Monday, October 15, 1832

1832

October

Monday 15

6 10/..

1

Washing and mending my stays till eight

Fine morning, F 57 1/2° at 6 1/2 a.m. –

Busy over 1 thing or other – Had Cordingley helping to take trimming off old French silk petticoat.

Breakfast with my aunt at 10 1/2 –

Miss Walker came in 5 or 6 minutes – Off with her at 11 – Shopped – Sat in the carriage while Miss W- called on Mr. Hudson at Ward’s End –

Mr. Edwards came to the carriage door to ask me to vote (from the Northgate property) in favor of I forgot whom, against the radical candidate Rawsden for the constableship – The town in a bustle – voting at the Waterhouse’s Arms – The poll to close at 5 p.m. – I had heard, nor knew anything about it – Mr. Edwards had just voted in right of his executorship to the late but one Mr. Walker of Crow Nest – Odd enough to say this before his daughter sitting by me, who afterwards observed that she was now the 2nd in succession to that property –

Went to Throp’s – then got out at the Trimming and had walked very near to Haugh End before Miss W- overtook me after her call at Willowfield – The H. Priestleys not at home –

Then drove to Thorpe – We both had business with Mr. John Priestley and sat 1/2 hour – I inquiring what he meant to do about the level gained in the brook to Walterclough Mill – He should have £5 a year – Then sat 20 minutes at Mill house  with Mrs. W. H. Rawson – All the rest out –

Then called at a shop or 2 and at Lidgate at 5 1/4 – Dinner at 6 – Very cozy evening.  Miss W- read prayers and we went upstairs at 10 1/4 – Fine day –

I undressed in half hour and then went to her room.  Had her on my knee a few minutes and then got into bed, she making no objection, and staid with her till twelve and three quarters grubbling gently, right middle finger up almost all the time – made two or three attempts to get my self quite near her, but somehow could not manage it, and she seemed so tender and able to bear so little (I think she was more intact and innocent and virgin than I had latterly surmised), that I contented myself with handling her gently and lovemaking.  She feared she should never be able to satisfy me.  On leaving her, my night things so wet, obliged to take them off and sleep in my dressing gown.  She whispered to me in bed how gentle and kind I was to her, and faintly said she loved me, or else how can you think, said she, that I should let you do as you do.  In fact, tho I never allow that I have hope, surely I ought not to despair.  She cannot surely go on as she does, meaning to say no.  Nothing passes that is not encouraging –

Letter this morning (just read it before setting off) 2 2/3 pages widely written from Mariana (Lawton) – quite well –  Delighted to be at home – Very busy – Company leaving and ditto expected  The Ackers, among the rest – Thinks I ought to write to Miss Smith my determination not to take her as Lady’s maid.  Must not expect attachment from any one of them unless more like a friend to me than a servant –

 

WYAS Finding Number SH:7/ML/E/15/0132