Saturday, October 13, 1832

1832

October

Saturday 13

6 10/..

12 20/..

Wild, windy, wet morning – F 59° at 6 1/2 a.m. –

Wrote copy of letter asking Eugénie’s character –

Breakfast at 8 1/4 with my father – Staid down talking about the road thro’ Trough of Bolland Wood, etc. etc., my father taking it all now with composure, and really seeming not even the least annoyed about it at heart – Just saw my aunt for a minute – Read my father his letter from Marian to say she would be back between 6 and 7 this evening, and came to my room at 9 40/..

– Wrote 1 page to ‘The Honorable Mrs. Herbert, 84 London Road, Brighton’ and left this letter and my letter written yesterday to ‘The Honorable Lady Stuart, Richmond Park, Surrey’ on my desk ready for the post tonight, for fear I should not happen to be at home before 6 p.m. when John goes for my sister –

Out at 10 20/.. – Went down to the hut – Found Pickles and Dick there moving earth from the back of it – Went with Pickles to see the line of road he had traced out in Trough of Bolland Wood – Will do very well – Told him to cut out a track I could get along easily, so that I might see my way before and consider of it – Then back to the hut and stood over them till 1 –

Then home – Changed my pelisse, etc.  A little while with my aunt., and off again at 1 3/4 –

A few minutes at the hut and at Lidgate at 2 25/.. – Found Mrs. Dyson of Willowfield and her friends, Mrs. and Miss Salmon (late of Sandback) calling there – Very civil to them during the 10 minutes or 1/4 hour –

Then sat cozing with Miss Walker very comfortably – She, however, not well, and lay on the sofa – Expressed my wish she should have Dr. Belcombe’s advice, to which she at last consented, and we are to go over to York together for this purpose –

Had a beef steak at 6 1/2 and afterwards tea – John came late on account of having waited in vain for my sister from Market Weighton –

Home in 1/2 hour at 10 25/.. – Found Marian arrived 1/2 hour ago – Had come by the Wakefield coach – Just wished her and my father good night – Talked a little to my aunt (poorly tonight) and came to my room at 10 40/.. –

Talked to Miss W first of her business matters, and then quite as if we were really to travel together.  Mentioned Mrs. Norcliffe’s asking me to Bath, and Miss W looked with a long face on my talking of going.  In fact, it is plain she likes me.  She said what confidence she felt in [me] and that she already felt attached to me.  I talked of the continent in a style of observation amusing and rather exciting. 

She lay down, and I leaned over her, kissing her as usual.  After tea, got more affectionate, but on gently putting my hand up her petticoats, she whispered, don’t, and I desisted.  She said I do not know how she had suffered from it the other night; had not got the better of it yet.  She was very tender there.  I talked soothingly and affectionately; said how gentle I would be. 

Expressed my anxiety for her health, and she said she would go with me to York this month.  She always sleeps with Catherine Rawson, goes to her.  I joked and wanted her to come to me on Monday.  No, not then, it would not do.  It would be better when we went to York to sleep at Tadcaster going and returning.  Oh oh, thought I, then we must get off.  I must get my ordeal over, and let her try me and see whether I can make her happy enough or not.  She has really seemed better, or more nicely conducted, tonight than of late, and her affectionate manner did make me feel in love with her.  I said I only wished she had but a third of what she had and no Cliff Hill, and then we might have managed all without difficulty.  Oh no, said she, the difficulty would have been far greater.  I could not comprehend this.  I will perhaps explain it, said she, by and by –

I told her my uncle and aunt together had given me more than five hundred pounds one year, and my Uncle Joseph had once paid my debts, but if I had not been as I was, perhaps neither I nor Marian would have had the estate.  Mentioned having Cordingley with me in Paris, but did not say where we were.  Told some of the queer stories, and said I had always been too great a pickle, but was quite different now –

She is more than half in love with me already?

Rainy morning till after 9 – then fine till about 3 or after, when hail shower –gleams and showers afterwards, but very fine moonlight evening. F 58° now at 11 20/.. p.m., having just written all but the first 7 1/2 lines of today –

WYAS Finding Number SH:7/ML/E/15/0132