Wednesday, October 3, 1832

 1832

October

Wednesday 3

Fine morning, F 64 12/° at 7.

Lay awake an hour and a half thinking of Miss Walker.  I really do get more and more in love with her, not, perhaps, a little heightened by the having to wait her answer for the next six months.   She has really behaved very judiciously, for I believe she likes me –

At 71/2 went up to my father in his room and gave him his medicine – Breakfasted with him at 8 20/.. having just sent off John to Lidgate with a brace of Isabella’s partridges for Miss Walker – A little while with my aunt in her room and out at 9 1/2 – in the walk –

Nobody but Dick working for me by the day – doing the bits of walling to keep up the staking up of the walk – John brought me Letter,  3 pages and ends and 1/2 the first page crossed, from Mariana (Leamington where to they arrived on Friday).  Be at home (Lawton) on Saturday – All thought of crossing the water given up a few hours after she last wrote – Had seen Miss Smith – an inch or 2 less than Cameron, aetatis 23, looks 17 – Seems to be a flippant sort of girl, tho’ she really spoke well – Not at all likely to suit me – Mr. Lawton has had a severe attack of English Cholera but his health and spirits the better for it – M- pretty well – Little Mariana settled at Miss Smith’s school at Leamington, with which M- much satisfied –

Home at 11 1/4 and gave my father his medicine – He gave me Letter from Miss Bolland for her quarter’s payment, directed to him for fear I should not be at home – 2 brace of pheasants, 2 ditto partridges, and a hare from Mr. and Mrs. Edwards of Market Weighton – Wrote directions papers ‘with Mr. Lister’s complements’ and John took to Mrs. Rawson of Stony Royde, Miss Walker of Cliff Hill, Mr. Parker, and Mr. and Mrs. Sunderland, each a pheasant – to Mrs. Veitch and Mrs. Catherine Rawson, each a brace of partridges, and to Mr. and Mrs. William Priestley of Lightcliffe, a hare –

From 12 to 3 1/2 wrote 3 pages and ends and 1st page crossed to Isabella – and 3 pages and ends and 1st page crossed to M- –

1 page to Tib to persuade her that we ought to congratulate or condole with other people according to their feelings, not our own –

Be pleased (as far as satisfies the demands of kindness and propriety without compromising our opinion or sincerity) because they are pleased or grieved because they are so – Thus I have congratulated Mrs. Norcliffe on Esther’s match ‘because I have reason to believe she is not displeased and that the match will be a comfort to her’ and thus I would not have Tib in ‘mauvaise odeur’ at Croft for not congratulating – ‘I cannot bear the thought of anything going wrong with you at Croft.’ She may say quite enough to keep all straight – Beg her to read Charlotte all this prosing –‘I count upon her thinking me right’ –

All the rest chit chat – ‘If Esther is happy, all her friends must rejoice at her being so – so long as her parents are satisfied, her not having chosen exactly according to your taste or mine, is in no respect reprehensible’ –

Ask for cutting of double yellow rose –

Mention my inquiry about Eugénie and my thought of writing to ask Scott if he thinks Joseph Booth at all likely to do for me, but not to name it to the boy – but say I am quite undetermined – 

Glad your journey answered so well and that my calculations of expenses was so fairly made – All agog to go over your ground –

Thanked M- for the trouble she had taken for me –

If nothing else against her Miss Smith, too little – ‘but the grin and giggle would be terrible’ – Shall think no more of her –

Mentioned the substance of my letter to Mademoiselle Pierre – ‘You will conclude that I was well nigh pleased with letter you enclosed me, and that I am resigned to the necessity of my fate, if it must be such as you point out –’  and after a few years, if you settle in England take a steady respectable woman whom you can depend upon to look after your other servants’ ‘You have strengthened my conviction, as you have done your own, that’ all things work together ‘for good’; and I am determined, like you, to make the best of everything’–

My plans to get off in January must depend on my aunt’s being better – far from well lately but better this last day or 2 –

Mr. Briggs died about a fortnight ago – Almost determined to take Washington. 

If not off in January, could contrive about Eugénie –

Glad she is so satisfied with Miss Smith’s school at Leamington at which she has placed little Mariana, but not to think she cannot afford to put to Miss Connell's in Regents park London where they have just placed Eliza Lawton –  ‘for I would advice you all, or any part of, the balance in your favor, at any time’ –

Thanks for the seeds she had ordered me and the 6 Judas trees ordered at 1/6 each –

Her sister Anne seems sorry Cameron left me – ‘Perhaps she does not know how unhappy the poor girl was – Surely Eugénie will understand me better – Somehow or other, I never dreampt of anybody’s being unhappy with me – How little we know ourselves! You did me a lasting service by telling me – Everybody will gain by it – All I dread is changing; and the prospect of this is the worst of Eugénie – but she may lead me by the nose – she may stay and save me the trouble of hunting hereafter for the steady respectable woman you talk of’ –

Cannot profit now by the opinion respecting maids of Miss Hobart that was – In consequence of his majesty’s most gracious order, they all take rank as if their father had lived to get the earldom, and she is now Lady Vere Cameron – They must be at Turin by this time –

God bless you, my dearest Mary! – Ever very especially and entirely yours A L –’

Went down and gave my father his medicine at 4 25/.. and had written so far of today at 4 40/.. – then some time with my aunt – out at 5 25/.. – walked 3 times from the upper garden gate to the end of my walk and back i.e., 3 miles, and did something more in sauntering up and down a little the last time home at 6 3/4 –

Found the Sexton of the old church waiting for me about the pew Mrs. Walker had at the old church – said Mr. Haigh (son to Mr. George Haigh of the mount) might have it at the same rent Mrs. Walker paid – should have the key before Sunday – might new line it if he pleased, but I should expect the rent –

Dinner at 7 – Afterwards read over yesterday’s paper – Then at 8 1/4 went into the little room for 1/2 hour – Came away for a little while and then returned – The plasterer white washing my room (the blue room) all today – Wrote my letters in the kitchen chamber –

Came upstairs at 10 5/.. – Fine day – Very fine evening – Very high wind towards night at 9 and afterwards. F 65° at 10 50/.. –

Sent off by John after dinner my letter to Mariana, Lawton hall, Lawton,Cheshire and my letter to Isabella Norcliffe, Langton hall, Malton –

 

WYAS Finding Numbers SH:7/ML/E/15/0125 and SH:7/ML/E/15/0126