Sunday, July 29, 1821

1821

July

Sunday 29

9 1/2

2 1/2

Two last night

Steph breakfasted early and went to Stone to see a patient – Harriet did not come down till 1, and Mariana and I left to ourselves all this while, and did not go to church – Cosy, affectionate conversation.  Resolved to make up our minds to circumstances and be happy.  Begged her never to interfere in any way about Harriet Milne.  Would not explain or hint that Anne had said so, but mentioned having heard it observed that Mariana need not talk.  See my conversation with Anne when last at Langton.  Talked over L’s [Charles Lawton’s] giving her the watch and garnets etc.  She has quite satisfied me and seems quite determined never to interfere any more –

Just before dinner, talking over different passages of the bible – Harriet always particularly struck with 1 Corinthians chapter xi, verse 10, the women to keep their heads covered or ‘to have power on her head because of the angels.’ on account of the angels –

About 6, the carriage came for Mariana from Lawton and she left us about 8 – She was very low.  In consoling, I said we might perhaps get together sooner than we expected.  She replied that there might be a row and a quarrel and a parting any day, and that with opportunity and importunity, I might bring it about whenever I chose.  I bade her mind how she talked to me in this way, lest I hereafter quoted her words against her when she did not think of them.  She did not care if I did, for if it was when she did not think of them, it could not be when she did not wish them.  She would willingly give up the chance of a few additional hundreds a year.  Just as she left the house, she bade me remember what she had said, and that it was not more than she felt and wished.  I see and believe she is entirely devoted to me.  I have given her my promise and my faith forever.  I love and trust her and shall henceforth only hope that we shall one day be happy together – From what Watson says, L has been unwell and in a bad humour all the week.  I am anxious to know the reception.

Steph read very indifferently – In the evening Steph read aloud one of Clappe’s sermons, the footman and women servants being assembled with us in the drawing room –

Rainy day –

Came upstairs at 10 20/60 – Stood 1/2 hour immersed in thought and looking on vacantly with scarce the resolution or the power to disturb my reverie – Roused myself to undress, and afterwards wrote out the rough draft of today, yesterday, and back to Monday, which took me 2 1/2 hours –


WYAS Finding Number SH:7/ML/E/5/0047


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