Thursday, October 15, 1829 (Travel Journal)

[Transcriber's note:  All of this material is crossed out in the travel journal, presumably when transferred by Anne Lister to her regular journal.]

1829

October

Thursday 15

9 5/60

3 25/60

Breakfast at 10 1/4 – Talked over it. I mentioned Henry Yorke and made an allusion to Aubrey Beauverie, by which she saw I knew about him.  Speaking of the former, she said Lady Elizabeth, though she wished the thing, had the good tact to never once enter on the subject. Everybody liked him more than she did, and she had liked him exceedingly before he offered it. She could be sure it was more than a thing of expediency.  She should not care for anything else.  I merely said, as he had no private fortune, they ought to wait till he had preferment.  She got into tears, but I turned them off, and Lady Stuart asked what we had been laughing so about.

Dr. Drever came – Lady Stuart may be off on Saturday – Had a few minutes tête-à-tête – The real fact, he dwelt on the rising of the veins in the feet but he had been afraid of the head – The blood had a determination there – She could not bear to be chaperoned and sit up late next winter –

Lord Graves came for a moment to say he had taken places at the theatre – Lady Isabella Blatchford too came for a moment, and went away because we were just going out – Coach and all 3 out shopping from 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 –

At 3, Miss Hobart and I went to the king’s palace – 35 minutes there – Nothing splendid – Not much furniture of any kind, but chiefly of very plain kind – Palace finished about 4 years – Good rooms – The sal des bals large and handsome –

Then walked in and round the inside of park and got home at 3 50/60 – Found lady Isabella Blatchford here – Dinner at 4 1/4 – Dressed – Mr. Knutsen (a Dane from Norway) came, and he, at the invitation of Lord Graves, went with us at 6 1/2 to the theatre – Some stupid play, then Comte Ory – The singing pretty good, but such a wretched theatre for sound, one could scarce hear anything – Waited some time in the cold lobby for the coach, and got home about 10 1/2 –

I complimented Lord Graves, as we went, on his French, with which he seemed pleased, and said as if he thought me agreeable now, but I was so cold and silent? at first, he was afraid of me, however.  I scarcely uttered at the theatre.   till he went out between the play and opera, and she said, why did I not talk,  So when he came back, I did say a civil thing or two.  

I pretended absence.  The real truth was they talked of people I did not know and I have not as yet quite learnt when to talk and how in these cases.  Alas, I have never been in good society.  I have all to learn.  Better say too little than too much and plead absence to Miss Hobart on account of herself.  This will excuse me well enough to her, the only person who sees me much in this way, and surely by and by I shall have learnt better.  I think she does not guess the real cause of my silence, and this is much gain to me.  She calls my manner coldness to poor Lord Graves.  Says I can talk in tête-à-tête.  How little she guesses my absolute ignorance of how to conduct myself for the best. 

All ask who I am.  Lord Graves and Lady Isabella Blatchford will ask if I am sister to Sir John Lister.  Lady Stuart has twice told me this.  She says no, but I am of a very old family in Yorkshire.   Lady I B [Isabella Blatchford] said this morning she knew there was a very old family of Lister there. 

Miss Hobart said  the other day, speaking of George (all laugh at his stare and Lady Gordon owned I could not have him in London; his vulgarity too is too evident) if I kept him for my aunt, why not have another servant, I who did not care whether I had one or ten.  I took no notice of this last remark.  They think me much richer than I am.  oh if they saw my father and Shibden and knew all! 

Gave Miss Hobart a white sort of gauze silk handkerchief this morning, with pretty coloured gothic border, price seven francs.  Said I should be obliged to choose for myself what to give her when she was gone.  Oh, said she, no.  There must be an end to your giving me so many things.  She said it good humouredly.

Wrote the whole of the above of today till 1 25/60

When went to her bedside for three quarters hour, flirting as usual, said I had really behaved rudely to Lord Graves, but the fact was my thoughts were bent only on one object.  She seemed not to dislike. 

Kissed her.  She laughed nervously and would make go.  I bade her say something pretty to me.  At last she quoted the motto on her cup, Zufriedenheit seyne? sei dein Los – Be contented with thy lot.  I said I would, but still lingered, then said ‘You know not the pain and torment it is to me to go.’  Said she, ‘and that with that nightcap?’

I had said before I should go to Italy or something.  She wished I would, it would amuse me.  No, said I, it will not.  ‘No, how so.  Would it amuse you if I was to go with you.’ ‘Yes, I should be more than amused.  I should be happy,’  How very odd, said she.  Then, said I, if it be odd, don’t think of it.  But you know if I was to say I did not care for you, you could not believe it, come what may, do or say, or go where I may, I shall not care the less.  Oh, said she, ‘You see few people.’  No, no, said I see enough for that. I could say more on that subject, but never mind.  

I had said before, don’t I behave well, no one could find out what I think.  She owned this was, saying, You have behaved very well hitherto,’  ‘Hitherto, what does that mean?’ ‘Do you say not behave so in futurity’.

I told her this morning I was planning a crypt alphabet for her.  Named it again tonight.  She said that was excellent, she would write to me in it, hoped I should get it done before we parted – What will she write to me? I really think she begins to like me.

Writing the last 25 lines till 2 35/60 then inventing crypt alphabet till 3 1/4 –

WYAS Finding Numbers SH:7/ML/TR/4/0004 and SH:7/ML/TR/4/0005