Friday, February 8, 1833

1833

February

Friday 8

6 50/..

12

Not ready of 1 1/2 hour – Fine, mild morning, F 44° at 8 40/.. outside my window –

At my desk at 8 40/..  Till 10 10/.., wrote 3 pages and ends to Mariana, beginning 

‘I see it will be a week tomorrow, my dearest Mary, since I received your last – I had no idea time had sped away so rapidly – but now you are so at ease about me, I am satisfied – so long as you know me to be happy and comfortable, you kindly tell me, you can be so too – I neither do, nor can want more; and I now feel that there will be no drawback upon the cheerfulness, as far as respects each other, of our future correspondence – I have indeed learnt not only to fancy, but to believe, there are ‘more ways than one of being happy’; and that I am a living proof of this, I trust you will see, and acknowledge by and by –

Your plan of going with me to London is excellent; and it will delight me if you are able to keep to it – I shall be pleased, and proud to shew you how much I am improved since our journey to Holland – I only hope you are in no great hurry about your teeth; as I see no great chance of being en route Southwards till May, at soonest.  But the fact is, I am so uncertain, that I do not mean to say any more about it, till days and almost hours are fixed –

‘I shall, if possible, go to Langton for 2 or 3 weeks, be a day or 2 in York, and as long with you as may seem best suited to those circumstances over which I know you have no control –

I anxiously hope you have had continued good accounts of your mother. . . . . . . Very sorry have no interest in the India house and know nothing about the Hanoverian Service – Perhaps Norcliffe may know something of the latter – If I should hear of anything likely to be of service (to Hamlyn Milne, returned from a mercantile clerkship in Mexico), ‘You know with what zeal and anxiety I should do my utmost for you’ –

Congratulate her on keeping Watson. . . . . ‘Thank very very much for all your kindness and trouble about Thomas Beech’ – Eugénie will wait – 

‘I quite forgot to tell you in my last, that I was not the least worse for my unexpected cold bath in the brook – no cold, no anything – I was out again with the woodman an hour after, and thought no more of it – In fact, I am better in health, and happier in mind than I have been for years – I feel my spirits as light as they used to be in days of yore – I have learnt to live upon my own resources, and in the firm belief that Providence orders all things well, and makes all things work together for good.  I have thrown away my regrets for the past, and kept nothing but hope for the future –

‘How is it,’ you ask, ‘that one sometimes feels out of spirits without knowing why?’ It may be from a heavy atmosphere (a bad day) or some little difficulty in digestion of which we are not aware, or from various, and almost insensible little circumstances to which a nervous temperament is much more subject than a sanguine one – But nevermind – you will be better and more vigorous by and by, as well as Mr. Lawton –

God bless you my dearest Mary! Ever very especially and entirely yours A L-’

Wrote the above of today, and breakfast with my aunt at 10 50/.. in 40 minutes – Sealed and left for the post by Hemingway this afternoon my letter to Mariana, Lawton hall, Lawton, Cheshire – and out at 11 3/4 with John, getting up thorns between Pearson Ing and Round Ing till dinner – Then at 1, heavy shower for near 1/2 hour, stood for shelter under a holly bush – Then with Pickels at the deep cutting till about 2 3/4, from which time till 5 40/.., with John, planting holly bush, etc. on the slope between Charles Howarth’s Pea field and acre field and getting up and planting oak in Lower brook Ing, Thorn Clump, and had Charles and James Howarth to help to loaden and then plant thorns at top corner next the brook of upper brook Ing –

Home at 5 3/4 – Dinner at 6 in 25 minutes –

Off to Lidgate at 6 1/2, and there at 7 – Tea – Miss Walker drawing 2 or 3 little botanical pencil sketches of flowers, and Miss Rawson and I reading botanical works – Miss Walker very poorly all the day and this evening, but better on my going in – Came to my room at 11 25/.. Fine day till 1, then 1/2 hours heavyish rain, I standing under the shelter of hollies at the bottom of the old lane – A few drops of rain in the afternoon. Afterwards, otherwise fine and fine evening –

WYAS Finding Number SH:7/ML/E/16/0015